DARVO: Manipulation Resistance 101
By Leona Kashersky, PsyD
©️6/5/23
As a psychologist, I have served many people, helping them heal from the effects of manipulation using my understanding of DARVO, a manipulation tactic used to assert power and control over others. DARVO is an acronym for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, which involves denying wrongdoing, attacking the target, and reversing the roles to make oneself appear as the harmed party. I help clients recognize DARVO and other manipulation tactics, set boundaries, and seek support from trusted friends and family to mitigate the effects of DARVO. Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be particularly beneficial for those who have experienced this type of exploitation. As therapists, we help people we serve hold individuals and institutions accountable for their actions and advocate for policies that promote a culture of respect and non-violence. By recognizing DARVO and other forms of manipulation tactics, the people I serve can protect themselves from harmful effects and find healing from the psychological harm caused by manipulation.
What is DARVO?
DARVO is a manipulation tactic that is commonly used to assert power and control in a variety of situations. The acronym stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. This tactic involves denying wrongdoing, attacking the target, and reversing the roles to make oneself appear as the harmed party. The concept of DARVO was first introduced by Jennifer J. Freyd, a psychologist, in the 1990s. Freyd's work aimed to understand the response of individuals who are accused of abuse. Through her research, Freyd identified the formalized meaning of DARVO.
Why DARVO Happens
DARVO can occur in many different situations, such as in personal relationships, in the workplace, or in politics. While individuals can use DARVO as a reaction, entire institutions may also employ this strategy. Elements of the process can be formally or informally integrated into corporate policy, which can have far-reaching consequences. Some of the groups most likely to utilize DARVO include narcissistic abusers, abusive bosses, abusive parents, gaslighters, colleges and universities, workplaces of all sizes, law enforcement, and financial institutions as part of financial abuse. In abusive situations, DARVO is often used as a means of maintaining power and control over the target. By denying wrongdoing and attacking the target, the offender is able to deflect attention away from their own actions and make the target feel responsible for the misconduct.
The final step of DARVO, reversing roles, is particularly insidious. By casting themselves as the harmed party, the manipulator is able to further exert power and control over the target. This can cause the target to feel guilty and responsible for the situation, even when they have done nothing wrong. It is important to note that not all individuals and groups use DARVO as a reaction to accusations. However, those who have employed this tactic in the past are more likely to use it again in the future. The use of DARVO can have a devastating impact on victims, causing them to doubt their own perception of reality and feel responsible for the corruption.
The effects of DARVO can be long-lasting and devastating for the target. It can cause them to doubt their own perception of reality and make it difficult for them to seek help or support. It can also have broader societal effects, as it can reinforce harmful power dynamics and perpetuate a culture of abuse.
“DARVO can be used by anyone in response to being held accountable for wrongdoings they have committed. When it was first introduced by Dr. Jennifer Freyd, DARVO was conceptualized as a technique used by sex offenders to deflect blame. You can see examples of this in the media when high-profile sex offenders like R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein use DARVO. But it’s not just a tactic used by perpetrators of sexual abuse – research finds DARVO is also used by people who commit wrongdoings that encompass a broad spectrum of severity, ranging from cases of sexual assault to more minor transgressions.” – Dr. Sarah Harsey, Postdoctoral Fellow at the Center for Institutional Courage and primary collaborator on the DARVO research with expert Jennifer Joy Freyd, PhD.
How to Spot DARVO
In practice, the manipulator will often deny or minimize their actions and try to justify them in any way possible. This three-step process can be incredibly effective in swaying personal and public opinion. Unfortunately, the use of DARVO techniques can be so subtle that many people miss the warning signs and fall into the pattern of manipulation. As a result, all evidence is criticized, and the victim may begin to doubt their own perception of reality, causing lasting psychological harm.
DARVO In Action
1. Deny
The first step of DARVO involves the offender denying any wrongdoing they are accused of. Regardless of the type of abuse, whether it is physical, emotional, or sexual, the abuser will refuse to acknowledge that anything happened. They will stand by their denial, even in the face of overwhelming evidence or multiple accusations. This denial can be especially damaging to the victim, who may feel unheard or disbelieved, leading to feelings of isolation and self-doubt. Unfortunately, the offender’s initial denial often sets the stage for the rest of the DARVO process, making it even harder for the target to seek justice or support.
Depending on the abuse in question, person/institution in question might say these things:
“This situation never happened.”
“I never did that.”
“This is a lie.”
“I’m a good person who couldn’t engage in this kind of behavior.”
“I’m a friend to women, and people know this isn’t me.”
At this point, the denial is clear and simple. Talking more only opens the person up to more criticism, so they only present the information in vague and general terms.
2. Attack
After establishing their denial, the accused will often go on the offensive, attacking the victim in a variety of ways. They may question the target’s motivation, mental health, and stability, as well as their intelligence, honesty, and morality. The offender may also attack the target’s past and present actions, seeking to discredit them in any way possible. This can be incredibly damaging, as it not only undermines credibility but also seeks to shift the focus away from the offenders behavior. Overall, this aggressive approach is a key component of the DARVO process and serves to further disempower the intended victim.
The abuser could attack the victim in countless ways by saying:
“You’re crazy.”
“You’re a psycho.”
“You’re an alcoholic or a drug addict.”
“You’ve made these claims before.”
“You asked for this/wanted me to do it.”
“You never said ‘no.’”
The target will never be treated with respect or value. They will be demeaned and disparaged.
3. Reverse Victim & Offender
One of the most striking features of DARVO is the offender’s attempt to switch roles with the target, turning them into the culprit. This reversal is a key component of the manipulation tactic and can take many forms, often relying more on emotions than facts. For example, in cases of sexual assault, the perpetrator may claim that the victim seduced them or had ulterior motives for reporting the assault. Similarly, in institutional cases, such as police brutality, the officer or department may claim that the victim initiated the violence or did not comply with orders. By reversing roles, the manipulator seeks to deflect attention away from their own actions and further undermine the target’s credibility.
Therapy’s Role in Healing From Abuse
When exploitation or manipulation result in deep wounding, it's important to seek help and support to heal from the trauma. Professional mental health treatment can provide a safe space to process experiences and emotions, and help build skills to cope with the aftermath of the abuse. Through therapy, the process of rebuilding a sense of self-worth and boundaries can begin. Learning strategies to avoid falling prey to similar tactics in the future can root. Finding a therapist who specializes in treating the effects of abuse and can provide the support needed to heal. Healing is possible, and its generally achieved in connection.
Freyd, J.J. (n.d.).What is DARVO? Retrieved from https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html
Freyd, J.J. (1997) Violations of Power, Adaptive Blindness, and Betrayal Trauma Theory. Feminism & Psychology, 7, 22-32. Retrieved from https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/articles/freyd97r.pdf
Freyd, J.J. (2021, November 2.). Institutional Betrayal and Institutional Courage. Retrieved from https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/institutionalbetrayal/index.html
Harsey, S.J., Zurbriggen, E.L. & Freyd, J.J. (2017) Perpetrator Responses to Victim Confrontation: DARVO and Victim Self-Blame, Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10926771.2017.1320777
Vialle-Giancotti, C. (2021, December 13).You’ve been DARVOed and You Don’t Even Know It, Stanford University. Retrieved from https://gender.stanford.edu/news-publications/gender-news/you-ve-been-darvoed-and-you-don-t-even-know-it