The Rise and Fall of Situationships: What It Means for Your Mental Health

By Leona Kashersky, Psy.D.

In the ever-evolving world of modern dating, the term situationship has become a buzzword. It describes a romantic connection that lacks clear labels or commitments—something more than friendship but not quite a defined relationship. While situationships can offer flexibility, they also bring emotional uncertainty, which can significantly impact mental well-being.

Why Situationships Became So Popular

Situationships have been trending for years, but their prominence surged in the early 2020s, especially among Gen Z and Millennials. Several cultural shifts contributed to their rise:

• Dating Apps & Social Media: With an abundance of dating options, people have become hesitant to define relationships too quickly, leading to more ambiguous romantic dynamics (Duguay, 2017).

• Fear of Commitment: Many individuals prefer to “see where things go” rather than risk heartbreak or invest in a serious relationship too soon (LeFebvre, 2018).

• Changing Relationship Norms: As societal expectations around marriage and long-term partnerships have evolved, more people feel comfortable in undefined, non-traditional arrangements (Cherlin, 2020).

• Post-Pandemic Dating Trends: After COVID-19 lockdowns, some individuals sought connection without the pressures of commitment, making situationships more common.

The Emotional Toll of Situationships

While situationships can provide fun, intimacy, and freedom, they also present unique emotional challenges:

1. Uncertainty & Anxiety

Situationships often involve a lack of clear communication, leaving one or both partners confused about where they stand. This uncertainty can fuel anxiety, overthinking, and self-doubt.

2. Emotional Investment Without Security

Without clear expectations, one person may develop deeper feelings while the other remains emotionally detached. This imbalance can lead to disappointment, rejection, and emotional distress.

3. Fear of Expressing Needs

People in situationships may hesitate to express their desires for fear of “ruining the vibe.” Suppressing needs for security and exclusivity can lead to resentment and unfulfilled emotional needs.

4. Attachment & Self-Worth Issues

Situationships can activate insecure attachment patterns, especially for those with anxious or avoidant tendencies. They may reinforce self-doubt and the fear of not being “enough” for commitment.

Are Situationships Falling Out of Favor?

Recently, there has been growing pushback against the normalizing of undefined relationships. According to recent dating trends:

• Tinder’s 2024 report revealed that more users are seeking commitment over casual connections, signaling a shift away from the situationship era.

• Mental health awareness has led more people to prioritize emotional security and clear communication in relationships.

• The rise of “intentional dating” emphasizes transparency and commitment over casual, undefined connections.

This shift suggests that while situationships won’t disappear entirely, people are becoming more mindful of their emotional well-being and seeking healthier relationship structures.

How to Navigate Situationships With Your Mental Health in Mind

If you find yourself in a situationship, consider these steps to protect your emotional well-being:

1. Assess Your Needs

Are you truly comfortable with an undefined relationship, or are you hoping it will turn into something more? Be honest with yourself.

2. Communicate Clearly

Have an open conversation about expectations and boundaries to avoid misunderstandings.

3. Recognize Red Flags

If the lack of commitment is causing you distress, it may be time to step away.

4. Prioritize Self-Worth

You deserve a relationship that aligns with your emotional needs. Don’t settle for less out of fear of losing someone.

5. Seek Support

If situationships have left you feeling anxious or unworthy, therapy can help you explore your relationship patterns and build healthier connections.

Final Thoughts

Situationships became popular because they reflected a cultural moment of flexibility, exploration, and shifting relationship norms. However, as more people recognize the emotional toll of undefined relationships, a shift toward more intentional, secure connections is emerging.

At Healing Pathways Psychological Services, we support individuals navigating modern relationships, helping them develop healthier dynamics that align with their emotional needs. If you’re struggling with relationship uncertainty, anxiety, or attachment patterns, our team is here to help.

Want to explore these topics further? Schedule a consultation and take a step toward more fulfilling relationships.

References

Cherlin, A. J. (2020). The marriage-go-round: The state of marriage and the family in America today. Vintage.

Duguay, S. (2017). Dressing up Tinderella: Interrogating authenticity claims on the mobile dating app Tinder. Information, Communication & Society, 20(3), 351-367.

LeFebvre, L. E. (2018). Ghosting as a relationship dissolution strategy in the technological age. Western Journal of Communication, 82(4), 451-471.