Experience Blissful Connection and Deep Healing Through Tantra in Psychotherapy
By Leona Kashersky, PsyD
©️8/7/23
Tantra, a practice of personal liberation and mindfulness, offers a unique approach to couple's therapy by integrating sexuality and spirituality. Tantra recognizes the human body and earthly life as authentic manifestations of divine energy, emphasizing the sacredness of sexual energy and celebrating all aspects of life on the path to enlightenment (Carrellas, 2017). This article aims to outline the concept of working with couples through the fusion of Tantra practices and evidence-based psychotherapy. It highlights the principles of this approach and provides practical exercises that couples can engage in to deepen their connection and promote healing.
Understanding Tantra
Contrary to common misconceptions, Tantra is not a religion but rather a spiritual practice that can be tailored to one's beliefs and preferences (Carrellas, 2017). It is not solely focused on sex but encompasses mindfulness, connection, and personal power. Additionally, Tantric practices are not restricted to any specific gender and can be experienced by individuals of all identities (Carrellas, 2017).
Couple's Tantra and Mindfulness
One of the foundations of Tantra in couples’ work is mindfulness, which involves being fully present and aware of the energy flowing through one's body. Mindfulness allows individuals to observe their thoughts without judgment and return to the present moment (Carrellas, 2017). By incorporating mindfulness practices into therapy sessions, couples can establish a safe space to explore acceptance, vulnerability, and intimacy.
Practicing Mindfulness
To cultivate mindfulness, individuals or couples can engage in various exercises. One such exercise involves creating a list of words or phrases associated with sexuality and spirituality and examining any emotional responses that arise. Through acceptance and non-judgment, individuals can learn to embrace all aspects of themselves (Carrellas, 2017).
Another mindfulness technique is observing thoughts as they pass through one's consciousness, similar to watching luggage pass on a carousel. By acknowledging thoughts without attachment or judgment, individuals can develop a deeper understanding of their internal experiences (Carrellas, 2017).
Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques are essential for staying present during meditation and fostering a sense of stability. These techniques may include focusing on one's breath, feeling the heartbeat, or briefly covering the ears to enhance awareness of the breath's sound (Carrellas, 2017).
Meditation for Partners
Engaging in meditation exercises together can strengthen the bond between partners and deepen their intimacy. Couples can create a serene space, adjust lighting, and incorporate elements such as candles, scents, or comfortable seating arrangements. The following meditation exercise can be practiced:
Sit facing each other with eyes closed, taking individual deep breaths to center yourselves.
Open your eyes and establish eye contact, synchronizing your breaths. Maintaining eye contact without judgment or distraction can be challenging but is an important step towards building trust and intimacy (Carrellas, 2017).
Continue breathing together, allowing emotions and thoughts to arise without judgment. Maintain a sense of presence and curiosity about these experiences.
Place your right hand over your partner's heart while they do the same to you. Feel the connection and the shared breath.
Place your left hand over your partner's hand on your heart, deepening the connection and experiencing the energy exchange.
Continue the cyclical breathing, remaining present in your bodies and exploring the sensations and emotions that arise.
Lean forward, allowing your foreheads to touch. Breathe together in synchrony, embracing the tenderness of the moment.
Gently remove your hands from each other's hearts and embrace in a melting hug, fully surrendering to the experience.
Slowly separate and make eye contact again, gradually returning to the rhythm of your breaths.
Remain gentle and present, expressing gratitude for the shared moment and recognizing the divine within each other (Carrellas, 2017).
Solo Tantra Practice
Solo Tantra offers individuals an opportunity to cultivate self-love, self-acceptance, and self-intimacy. One exercise that can help individuals warm up to their own gaze and develop a deeper connection with themselves is mirror gazing:
Stand or sit in front of a mirror, taking deep breaths to center yourself.
Place your hands over your heart and choose one eye to focus on in the mirror, preferably your non-dominant eye.
Quietly observe any emotions or thoughts that arise, gently guiding them into positive affirmations.
Begin verbalizing affirmations such as "I love you. I forgive you. I know you. I cherish you." Tailor the affirmations to speak truthfully to yourself.
Continue gazing into your eyes, maintaining the breath and the dialogue between your inner and outer self.
Move your hands from your heart and wrap yourself in a butterfly hug, embracing vulnerability and allowing emotions to flow.
Remain gentle and attentive to yourself, seeking support from trusted individuals or therapists if necessary.
Express gratitude for the practice and acknowledge the divine within yourself (Carrellas, 2017).
Tantra with couples in psychotherapy offers a unique approach to healing and intimacy by integrating sexuality and spirituality. By embracing mindfulness, cultivating presence, and engaging in intimate practices, couples can deepen their connection and explore vulnerability in a safe and supportive environment. Additionally, solo Tantra practices can empower individuals to develop self-love, self-acceptance, and a profound understanding of their own divine energy. Through these practices, couples and individuals can embark on a transformative journey towards healing, growth, and spiritual progress.
References
Carrellas, B. (2017). Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. Penguin Random House.